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  • Katarina Garcia


Updated: Apr 4, 2020

Nowadays, it’s much more common and culturally accepted to have a baby out of wedlock. I guess we’ve all realized there are much more serious matters to get our panties in a bunch over. Like the gender wage gap! What’s up with that? But nevertheless, there are still people who judge these young ladies for having “accidents.” I am these ladies. I had an oopsie at 21 and now have a handsome almost 2 year old son as proof. But while pregnant, I still felt the weight of pregnancy-shaming. I would get odd looks at school sometimes, and I’m sure some people were talking about me behind my back. It’s just the nature of it. I had sex and I got pregnant. But here’s the deal, you’re having sex too. You just didn’t get pregnant.

So go ahead and shame me for getting pregnant. But just remember that you are doing the same things as me, you just happened to be a little more careful. I will never understand all the dirty looks I got. Maybe it’s because my belly was physical proof that I am sexually active, while you hide behind your flat belly trying to act like a saint. Unless you’re a virgin, you have no right to judge me. Even if you are a virgin, you shouldn’t judge me either. Girls everywhere are having sex, and that’s okay. That’s great, in fact. Get to know your body and share it with someone you love safely. We’re all about uplifting women and fighting slut-shaming. But yet, I still feel we haven’t completely eradicated pregnancy-shaming. If anything, we should be applauding these women. Pregnancy is no joke and raising a baby isn’t either. It’s a lifetime responsibility that these women have committed to. We are taking responsibility for having an accident. Yes, I could have gotten an abortion and no one would have ever known that I got pregnant, or even had sex for that matter. But I felt I had the means to provide for this little baby inside me and wanted to give it the best life possible. So I owned up to it and continued on with my pregnancy, despite the shame I knew I might face.

You don’t know everyone’s story. That pregnant freshman could have been raped, but she’s decided to continue with the pregnancy anyway. That pregnant sophomore used birth control, but it failed. It happens. That pregnant junior, well she really wanted a baby so she’s having one and that’s her choice. And me, that pregnant senior, I had an accident and that’s okay too. You will never know what a person is truly going through from just taking an outsider’s perspective. So stop the shaming. Just because we got pregnant, doesn’t mean we’re stupid. We’re creating a life, one of the most incredible and difficult things a human can do. So cut us some slack and hold the door open for us for God’s sake.

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