A HAPPY MEDIUM FOR GENDER REVEAL PARTIES?
Updated: Apr 4, 2020
So I know gender reveal parties are a hot topic right now, and I think I may have found a happy medium for all parties, literally. I’ll be honest. I, like so many other expectant mothers, had a gender reveal. It was what you’d expect. Half blue, half pink everything. We popped confetti cannons and out came shiny blue ribbon. Never once have I received any grief over having a gender reveal party, nor should I. The way we parent and celebrate our baby is our business, so long as we’re not causing any harm to our child. But I know so many parents are being ridiculed for having gender reveal parties. People say that us parents will do anything to throw a party. And what’s wrong with that? Some people throw parties every weekend to watch the next big game, but they are never once shunned. Having a baby is exciting, and we shouldn’t be asked to tone it down, just because you’re offended by us throwing a party.
On the other hand, I understand where some people are coming from. Getting upset at us for throwing a gender reveal just to have another party isn’t a good excuse. But I can understand why some people are upset about the whole idea of it being called a “gender reveal.” Gender refers to an individual’s concept of themselves or their gender identity. Gender is something that the individual itself decides, while sex refers to the biology of an individual based off of genitalia. A gender reveal itself is not actually revealing gender, but instead sex. In order for this event to be most accurate, I think we need to call it a “sex reveal.” However, something tells me society wouldn’t be too comfortable with that title. Imagine your 80 year old grandma getting an invitation to a couple’s sex reveal. It might come off a little risqué and cause some confusion. Are we invited to watch a demonstration of how the baby was conceived?
But even if we were to get over the stigma around the word “sex” and in fact call it a “sex reveal,” it still wouldn’t be considered accurate to have pink and blue everything. Revealing the sex would only indicate genitalia and not what the child’s role in society will be. Even though the odds of the child growing up to be transgender are pretty small compared to the population as a whole, that possibility is still there. It doesn’t necessarily mean a boy will grow up to be interested in sports and guns while a girl will grow up to be interested in ballet and makeup. So the only way I can truly think of making a gender reveal work for everyone is if we call it a “sex reveal” and not color coordinate. Maybe instead of revealing pink or blue balloons out of a box, we instead reveal either a hot dog wiener or a donut to represent the genitalia in a fun way. I don’t know? Help me out here! We shouldn’t also get all excited about the prospect of either a girl or a boy for their typical societal traits. Like I said before, just because you found out you’re having a boy doesn’t mean he will fit into that societal box of what it means to “act” like a boy. So if we do a sex reveal correctly, it should mean that no one gets upset over the sex of the baby, as the possibilities are endless since they haven’t yet chosen their gender. You may have wanted a girl so that she could be a cheerleader just like you. Well your boy could still fill those shoes if he chooses to.
I love having parties and don’t think we should stop gender reveals because people are upset that we celebrate every little thing. I just think with a little modification, we can make “gender reveals” more accurate and inclusive, because who doesn’t love a good party?